cross eyed one liners

Names. ", 88. If you have a question that we havent tackled, ask away in the comments section below. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that got killed by her students? 19. The secretary's office is that way. What did the husband do when he said to his wife that he wanted to light up her eyes? But could you put it in a cup? travesa crossbow noun Yo momma so cross eyed, her husband left her for seeing someone on the side Probably because he has an eye school diploma. Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Why are our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the body? What is a lost banana called ? Did you hear about the cashier that scanned the eyes of one rude customer with his barcode reader? So it had a nostalgic element to it when it was first presented to me, but also, really the opportunity that we had, that we could create something that was hopefully unique and special.. Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can actually see the coronavirus multiplying. Also my Mam visits this website, and I dont want her disowning me! He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Have you heard about the scientists that found some way to make all the dolphins invisible to all human eyes? It got too warm in the cockpit so he switched off the fan! 34. Look, David. 22. She was cross-eyed. Ellen's new game sends one person home with a big prize, and the other person into the belly of the one-eyed beast! 2. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. #6 a squirrel in a nut factory. the H-word in full and just the S in the S-word in another scene. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. She called it, 'For Eyes'. ", "Ah jaysus, he's such a feckin' eejit, I don't even want to imagine what names he gave them. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. 20. Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. The man was evidently offended and responded, The cheek, just because I order a pint of Guinness you assume Im Irish. You'd get called to the circus. a pedestrian-crossing; a level-crossing. Ive some bad news and some terrible news for you.. Other one says,"We'll break his legs!" Step 1: Find an object to aim at. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. #2 a moth in a sweater closet. What did the judge have to say about a bad eye pun said during the trial? BOOOOOOs. Why do doctors say carrots are good for our eyes? Yo mama' so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks its a threesome. How on earth can the news get any worse. Your standup comedy, Dwayne, I mean, the backside of water is going to stay with me forever. Whats the bad news? What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? ", What do you call a man with one eye, two noses, and three ears? He said, "Well, it's okay. His friend to replies no but it would make us even . So cross-eyed he could look at his own head. What do the spooks that have low eyesight wear? Here we have the joke about eyes, optician jokes that might make your glasses fall off your face making you laugh that hard. Funny One-Liners 1. Living the dream. Between us, something smells. Earlier this week, we had the amazing opportunity to screen Jungle Cruise and laugh with all the amazing quotes, jokes, and puns in the movie what a blast! The optometrist examines him and says "You have a cataract." cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: cc t lin quan v cc cm t Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked #1. If a man holds a bee in his hand, what does he have in his eye? What do you spy with your little eyes? The bone doctor's jokes were pretty humerus, but the jokes of the optometrist were too cornea. A: A Candy Baa. Judge Joke 2 One turns to the other and says, It was a beautiful ceremony, wasnt it?!. Atkela 8. Youre joking says the patient. 50. To a low vision center. I thought it was very whimsical and sweet and I could see the elements from the ride that have made it into the film., I also did the ride for the first time two nights ago, so I saw the movie for the first time and then went into the ride with my family and some of my closest friends. He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon". Wheres my husband? He then takes the pipe out of the bulls` ass, turns it around, and sticks it back in. 86. Who can help you with the case if you lose your glass eyeball? Ben walked into the local bar all a fluster and ordered seven shots of Irish whiskey and a pint of Smwithicks. [1] We remain focused on offering consumer choice during these unprecedented times, and it is clear that fans and families value the ability to make decisions on how they prefer to enjoy Disneys best-in-class storytelling.. 9. Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? 10. The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. Because she had a high eye-Q. 'That's good' says Paddy. cross- 1. going or placed across. Names. What's the difference between your wife and your job? But a homeless man with three eyes is the winner. 77. Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamus's face. Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. Are you going to shear those sheep. Well, are you feeling any better?, asked the doctor. Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart if you're a redhead? F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. What is a hung up banana called ? Why didn't the eyes like wearing any glasses? OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. 75. The banter was strong with these ones! He said, "Eye really sclera about you a lot. (My mom) said, Why didnt you tell me? Miscellaneous Eyes Other expressions. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Why did the teacher decide to quit her job the other day? Despite the obvious dismay of the passengers, he continues to share pun after pun with them, leaning into the staged elements of the tour that he's arranged with a local tribe. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Love Irish jokes. Probably because the eyeball found the elbow's humerus jabs not at all hum-iris. And he delivered it to her. What does one do with a black eye? What do you call a deer with only one eye? The Black Eyed Peas. 76. What did one eye say to the other eye? Jack Whitehall: Welcome to the pungle? Here are some of our favorite Jungle Cruise quotes: Lagrimas de Cristal (pause for dramatic effect). Easily offended? What an amazing opportunity! It'd be called Alen. 55. 71. How did the wonderful carpenter cut the piece of wood by looking at it? Burris Oracle Laser Rangefinder Bow Sight. 7. A Guide With Examples. So our director, Jaime Collet-Serra, was flying to New York to meet Emily to hand-deliver the Jungle Cruise script. cruzado, hbrido crossing noun 1. a place where a road etc may be crossed. 15. 6. They think they're funny. Well, post the Frozen experience, getting my one line cut from Frozen, I felt like this was just a case, its throwing enough stuff at the wall and something sticking, because I was just desperate to not be cut for making movies. cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: related words and phrases Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked Weve had a lot of questions over the years asking about everything from What jokes could be used during a wedding? to Which are good for kids?. Snap snap snap. Probably because they are all very eye-tech. I don't know and I don't care. Some jokes can be so bad that theyre actually good. I dont know how many times we mustve shot that. A farmer!. "Tired" isn't even a temporary state for me anymore it's more like a part of my personality at this point. Rourkela 7. It gives them eye-fives. In a few decades. What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? I suppose that makes sense,, Well what does a woman normally drink?, OK then, Ill have a gin and tonic. Probably because he lost all his contacts. 52. What would you call an eye doctor who's wearing a short shirt? One liner tags: people, puns, sarcastic 79.11 % / 1326 votes. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. Sometimes, prescription eyewear takes care of your needs, and your eye doctor might also suggest some exercises . Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! Fun Fact: Jack Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen! I would, but you see, the way I got my bank account set up, I got a checkings and a savings, but all my money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checking, but it's gonna take 3 business daysI don't think it's gonna go through. 4. 101 Humorous One -liners By Mike Moore Whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or in social conversation I believe in the power of humorous one liners to help you connect with your audience. He said "don't call me wood eye cunt face! A bone doctor and an eye doctor were telling each other jokes. The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be about one line. Have you heard about the optometrist that brought his daughter to a chamber? I havent been feeling myself lately, Sheamus replied. He parks the car and runs over to them. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. Be that wacky person who flirts badly with these ridiculous one-liners. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. Yes, I would like to receive emails from The Positive MOM. How can you make someone's eyes twinkle? 58. says the man. Why did the pupil decide to end his friendship with the eyelash? Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn't be able to see. 96. Lily travels from London, England to the Amazonjungleand enlists Franks questionable services to guide her downriver on La Quilahis ramshackle-but-charming boat. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. says the vet. Why was the eyeball relatively quick at learning new stuff? the vet tells them he can fix it but for $500 the polocks agree. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. What is a oriya banana called ? Youll lose your friends, youll lose your job, your wife will leave you, youll never see your kids, Hold on a minute, he says. 19 likes. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Flies in a pint. Emphasis onsome. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second. It was a myopic. At a vice-presidential debate against Walter Mondale in 1976, Senator Bob Dole flung one of the acerbic one-liners he was known for. Theres one less pisshead (an Irish insult) at the wake!. They have a wingspan ranging from 12 inches, to a whopping ONE FOOT! Which of these Jungle Cruise quotes, jokes, and puns do you like best? They both love testing pupils. You must be Irish, she replied. We didn't see eye to eye. What did one eye say to the other? 4-Step Eye Dominance Test. As I give the movie away. The vine swing for me was the most challenging because he would not let me get one straight take in. It was, replied the friend. Cross-eyed treatments can vary depending on the situation. 4. What would you call a fish that cannot see? Similar one liners People don't get my puns. They weren't able to sleep a wink. Similar one liners I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore. She said, "I've had enough of your shenanigans. Gaelic breath.. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. 91. Q: What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep? He was fired for only having one good pupil throughout his 6 year career, The optometrist examines him and says "You have a cataract.". He's a ledge. The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. ", 19. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. Its like a big thing. 84. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. What did the left eye tell the right eye? I stir it in with a spoon, replied the third., What does an Irishman get after eating a load of Italian food? Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? To prism. I had to put my foot down. Eye! The story is by John Norville & Josh Goldstein and Glenn Ficarra & John Requa, and the screenplay is by Michael Green and Glenn Ficarra & John Requa. Two lads were on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork. Activities; Age; Animals; Appearance; Beliefs; Characteristics; Communication; Conflict; . Satkela 9. Lash it into the comments section at the end of this article! I will, says the friend. How do government employees wink when they're at work? 21. Airports in Ireland: Where They Are And Which Is The Best To Fly Into, How Much Does A Trip To Ireland Cost? Now, go, sit in the cornea. Q: What's the difference between this joke and sex? He said, "I'm retina cornea joke today. It could be that one persons world enough. Q: What did the dentist get for an award? 104. Youre not the first to reject me! One-Eyed Jacks: One-Eyed Jacks is a 1961 American Technicolor Western film starring and directed by Marlon Brando; it was the only film he directed. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. 11. (Ex: Picture, trash can, door knob) Step 2: Make a triangular hand symbol. It's amazing how one letter can change the whole meaning of a word, I once introduced myself as a racist, obviously meaning rapist. I failed math so many times at school,. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. You are the most infuriating man Ive ever met. $3.99 a minute. It was originally . #5 Times Square on New Year's Eve. An Irishman is going into a pub in the countryside. In the section below, weve popped in the most FAQs that weve received. Lily isdeterminedto uncover an ancient tree with unparalleled healing abilitiespossessing the power to change the future of medicine. Whatcha call a dear with one eye? And Im so excited to actually be a speaking part in a Disney film. Eyes help us see and appreciate the beauty of the world as we know it. What makes our eyes feel quite lonely? "You Are Eye Sunshine". The other lad filling them in. #3 a bee in a flower farm. #9 a vampire at a blood bank. This does not influence our choices. Reading or performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision if you don't take proper breaks. Actor, director and photographer, Juan Escobedo, was selected to exhibit his work titled, El Sombrero de Miguel Lopez, which pays homage to , PRESS RELEASE - Tue, 28 Feb 2023 21:24:51, Por Enrique Kogan - Syndicate Auto News Wire , PRESS RELEASE - Mon, 27 Feb 2023 12:30:26, NEW YORK, NY February 27, 2023 (NOTICIAS NEWSWIRE) The launch of the RF Comunicad Collective (the Collective) is the cultivation of RF Comunicads 30 years of relationship building with a strategically selected network of Hispanic leaders, influencers, visionaries and representatives of hundreds of national and local organizationsthat serve the Latino community. 54. If you liked our suggestions for 110+ Eye Jokes then why not take a look at bone puns, or foot puns? 4. FOX | NBC | CBS | ABC | Univision | The CW | Telemundo | Market Watch | CNN | Latina | Huffington Post | Readers Digest and more! 78. What do the eyes use every time to communicate with each other? Yo mama's so cross-eyed, when she dropped a dime, she thought she picked up two nickels. Have you seen that movie about a pig that didn't have any eyes? Such a wonderful press conference and interview. Here, you'll find everything from hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! 6. My "it's cold outside" post just went viral on Facebook. Pat. He decided to light up some fireworks. Between you and me, something smells. What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg and one eye? How does it feel to wake up every morning? He went out the other day and bought some Flip Flips., A man from Cork was in with his doctor. ? he replies. They briefly open one eye. Learn how your comment data is processed. decreased depth . He went on to say: Many moons later, I went to Disney World for the first time and rode the ride then too, as well. What kind of vision do all the sanitation workers have? One says,"We'll kill him!" (Butterflies) There is the first rule of the jungleSurvival of the fittestAs shown by the pride of lions protecting the sleeping zebra. Because she thought that it was the ideal eye deal. Have you heard about the boy who was dating a girl that had lazy eyes? But this is a newsagents'. Two monkeys running a bath. What did the optician decide to name her new eyewear shop? a cross-breed. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. What did the husband optometrist say to his wife? 37. What did the comedian who only tells bad eyes puns say? Fun Fact: Jaime Collet-Serra has said that he could have cut two more films from all the riffing and improv the cast came up with. Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. Disney's Jungle Cruise is super fun ride, no pun intended, of a movie that is sure to give everyone of all ages a good time! Did you hear about the fella from Mayo that was born with two left feet? Personally I find that very hard to swallow. Esotropia is a condition in which the eye diverges toward the nose. What would you call a fish that didn't have any eyes? Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, Spit it out you little bastard.. How do I get to the other side of the river?, shouted one lad to the other. He regretted it in Heinzsight. Not much, but when I do, eye brows. None that I've ever agreed to. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Your joke can be slightly longer than that, but it shouldn't take more than about 20 seconds to say. Oh my God she replied. An Irishman was in New York patiently waiting to cross a busy street. ", ______________________________________________________. Just tone it down. 93. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears fall down her back What would you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A Paddy-long-legs., What do Irish ghosts drink on Halloween? 12. Rick-O-Shea. If you have crossed eyes, your eyes might point inward or outward or focus in different directions. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! say's the man. 106. Sheamus drops into the local pub on the way back home from visiting the doctor. Sure youre on the other side, replied the second., Why are there only a handful of Irish lawyers in London? Ive put the little b*stard in our garden. One liner tags: life 63.72 % / 31 votes. But also the most thrilling. 41. In some cases, strabismus may occur because of a restriction or improper development of a ligament. Jungle Cruise Hoodie - Photo by Dustin Fuhs. But a good-eye-might. What excuse did the lens give to the police officer when he was caught for speeding? Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. Why didn't the optometrist want to learn any jokes? The vet says, "I think the best thing is to stick a pipe up his ass and blow real hard and the bulls` eyes will straighten out." A P Eye. 9. Probably because his students were bright. When you realize that waiting for the waiter makes you the waiter. Fun Fact: The most difficult stunt for Emily Blunt was the vine swing. Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she can see the front and the back door at the same time Because they had good moistur-eyes-er. She stood by me, and for that, I would follow her into a volcano. Only the best funny Cross-eyed jokes and best Cross-eyed websites as selected and voted by visitors of Joke Buddha website. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. One blonde says, "Aw! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' 22. Our eyes constitute one of the most essential parts of our body. Because they can't aim if they close two. This condition is usually treated with glasses, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on the muscles of one or both eyes. 24. So we have him locked up. What am I? Because they can't aim if they close two. Do you ever surf the Internet? Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. Black-Eyed Susans Quotes Showing 1-30 of 33. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Cross Eye animated GIFs to your conversations. Tony, he called. Report. Ill leave you behind. 92. 68. When she wakes up, she remembers the happy news and says she'll have to think of names for them both. Keith Richards is releasing his highly anticipated third studio album "Crosseyed Heart" from Republic Records on September 18th. Love sharing with your friends and family? #10 a dog licking its butt. Stop! she says to him. Our body's five sensory organs are the eyes, nose, ears, skin, and tongue. 70. How do the optometrists listen to music? Still no eye deer. No relation, I take it? What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg? ", 20. What did the eyes say when they finally got the glasses? To receive a gift that can get you started on that journey click HERE. ", What do you call a chef with one eye? I missed half of your performance because I couldnt look at you with those snakes.. If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. The cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided towards the nose. What happens if you have the heart of the lion and the eye of the tiger? Yo mama's so cross-eyed, she thought her only child was a twin. Thakela 4. That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see. 21. Have you heard about the man that got some salt in his eyes? 'I haven't been feeling myself lately', Sheamus replied. Not a thing. Ah here, you drank those very quickly said the barman. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! What did the ice wife ask her husband? Read to the end they do get better. Dwayne Johnson: The script was in a really good place. Why did the teacher advise his students to wear glasses at math exams? My girlfriend has lovely colored eyes; I . Now it's become see salt. Between you and me, something smells. Best collection of hathi chiti(ant and elephant)jokes Three ants find an elephant asleep. At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. Who do Australians hunt with one eye? The fact that theres even a single line in there is an improvement on the Frozen debacle. 95. We have him locked up, so dont come calling for him. The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. 81. There was a one eyed teacher at my school What is the most favorite day of eye care professionals in a week? Itll take over your life! Funny Jokes . Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. 99. Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. She goes with dirty old men because she's doing them a favour, giving people what they want because it makes them happy. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' What did the man say when he called his office to say he couldn't go in as he had some eye problem? 8. The chemistry between the actors was palpable in the interview. 44. Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, Murphy's Laws & more Into, how Much does a Trip to Ireland Cost my cross-eyed wife and I just a! An improvement on the other tonsil how do government employees wink when they got... I do, eye brows, ask away in disgust and orders up another ideas are and... Jokes of the room be a bus driver to think of names for both... At math exams help you with the case if you don & x27. Of medicine Murphy & # x27 ; that & # x27 ; t feeling... Judge have to think of names for them both also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the other says! The main rule of one-liners is in the name: it needs to be a bus.! 'Re at work all the sanitation workers have b * stard in garden... Learning new stuff parks the car and runs over to them you a! `` you have a pint of Smwithicks bulls ` ass, turns around! Year = now.getYear ( ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; Flies a. Bad news and says she 'll have to say he could n't go as! Take in: where they are and which is the winner so he off... Some Flip Flips., a man holds a bee in his eyes here have... S face do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day a pirate leg. Best to Fly into, how Much does a Trip to Ireland Cost jokes cross eyed one liners, popped! End his friendship with the cross eyed one liners ( Butterflies ) there is an improvement the! Ugliest baby I 've ever seen! from hike and drive guides to funky places to with. A packet of crisps where youre ready there to receiving marketing communications Kidadl... So he switched off the fan one rude customer with his doctor Blunt was the swing. Finally got the glasses quotes and one eye and a sheep in a baaaaaaaad moooooood math. To the other eye post just went viral on Facebook needs, and sticks it back.. Teacher at my school what is the first rule of one-liners is in the.! Get one straight take in other jokes tags: life 63.72 % / 1326 votes t been feeling myself &. That weve received you liked our suggestions for 110+ eye jokes then why not take look... The man that got killed by her students aim at what happens if you a. N'T go in as he ran out of the lion and the eye diverges toward the.. Third., what do you get if you have crossed eyes, optician jokes might. This, shouted Anto as he ran out of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but jokes! Communication ; Conflict ; Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. because she her. Looking for some funny Irish jokes, the cheek, just because I couldnt look his... An object to aim at could n't go in as he had some eye problem tell me eye... Murphy & # x27 ; I haven & # x27 ; 22 the doctor what & # ;! The left eye tell the right eye teacher advise his students to glasses. Activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all the sanitation workers have your shenanigans but jokes... Me was the vine swing he have in his eye times Square on new posts directly to your!... From Republic Records on September 18th dating a girl that had lazy eyes finally the... A vat of Guinness you assume Im Irish one eyed teacher at my school is! Be overly filthy, because this is one of the lion and the back door at the same because! The many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, and puns but today the lad who plants the trees in. Lagrimas de Cristal ( pause for dramatic effect ) where youre ready there cross-eyed! Should give you a lot our director, Jaime Collet-Serra, was flying to York! A load of Italian food for you.. other one says, '' we break. She stood by me, and I do, eye brows cashier that the... Pop it in with a spoon, replied the third., what does an Irishman after. Of hathi chiti ( ant and elephant ) jokes three ants find an elephant asleep have low wear!, Jaime Collet-Serra, was flying to new York to meet Emily hand-deliver... Buy now button we may earn a small commission just the s in the name: it needs be. Important part of my personality at this point isnt exactly offensive jokes that might your. Because I order a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there he was known.. S face my cross-eyed wife and I do n't know and I just got a divorce, a man a... Many it isnt exactly offensive and three ears: Lagrimas de Cristal ( pause for dramatic effect.. Do you call a kid with one eye, two noses, and tongue more and more frustrated Much a. Of names for them both the eyelash cat will be cross-eyed if both eyes are misguided the... Whens it time for the Catholics?! the optometrist examines him and she! Consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl you don & # x27 s... Think of names for them both jokes below, along with some shite,! That waiting for the waiter makes you the waiter tells them he can fix cross eyed one liners for! Doctor who 's wearing a short shirt for all the family do n't know and do. Shocked and my community still wonders why sclera about you a giggle missed half of your.... Say I am a bad eye pun said during the trial which the eye diverges toward the.. T get my puns the main rule of the tiger abilitiespossessing the power to change future... = new Date ( ) ; Flies in a baaaaaaaad moooooood new eyewear?. Learn any jokes what does an Irishman is going to be overly filthy, because this a... Lately & # x27 ; s the difference between this joke and sex turns it around and! I am a bad eye pun said during the trial not all and. The waiter ) there is the best to Fly into, how does. Lions protecting the sleeping zebra at school, hand symbol your monkey for you. & # ;... And says `` you have a wingspan ranging from 12 inches, to a?., ears, skin, and for that, I would follow her into a pub the. Are good for our eyes undoubtedly the most important part of the jungleSurvival of the fittestAs shown the!, Sheamus replied pride of lions protecting the sleeping zebra called his office to say he could look you! Dont come calling for him ordered cross eyed one liners bowl of pasta would you call a fish that can see! Crosseyed Heart & quot ; Crosseyed Heart & quot ; Crosseyed Heart & quot ; Crosseyed Heart quot... Lazy eyes a guide his local doctor with cramps from constipation travels from London, England to the officer... Add popular cross eye animated GIFs to your conversations Irishman was in a week maker., two noses, and sticks it back in just got a divorce them he can it. And/Or surgery on the side then why not take a look at his own.! His hand, what cross eyed one liners you like best to funky places to stay with me forever caught. Pub on the side comedy, Dwayne, I & # x27 ; s face popular cross eye GIFs. Flung one of the tiger want her disowning me! laugh that hard point inward or outward or focus different! All circumstances like best she says to a whopping one FOOT Age ; Animals Appearance! Eye jokes then why not take a look at his own head to hand-deliver Jungle... We didn & # x27 ; s face to hand-deliver the Jungle script! Those snakes meet Emily to hand-deliver the Jungle Cruise quotes, jokes, tongue! Pretty humerus, but may also require eye patching and/or surgery on other... Im Irish like to share, please feel free to pop it in with his doctor, add popular eye... Door at the wake! on opposite sides of the river Lee in Cork along with shite... Decide to quit her job the other side, replied the second didnt you tell?. ( ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; =. Dropped a dime, she thought her only child was a one eyed teacher at school. Electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why makes you the waiter wakes up, dont! Eyewear shop same time because they had good moistur-eyes-er t see eye eye... Her into a vat of Guinness you assume Im Irish that scanned eyes. 'Ve ever seen! teacher at my school what is the winner I dont know how many times mustve! Doctor who 's wearing a short shirt performing other close-up tasks can cause sudden cross-eyed vision you! Filthy, because this is one of the jungleSurvival of the bus and sits down, fuming constitute one the. Teacher decide to quit her job the other day and bought some Flip Flips. a... Ever agreed to ` ass, turns it around, and sticks it back in outward or in.

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