my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me

Pretty much same story, different couple. Goodbye and all the best. And a view days later he says it dont feel good you go look for an other man. He refuses to talk to me hes very busy. It makes me want to expose her to her face and the world but i know silence is the best option. They are who they are and will never be like us. He says I put him down and I dont trust him. His point is, that the traditional psychoanalytical approaches are very much applicable to all the neurotics (people with emotions, insane or healthy), BUT NOT THE DISTURBED CHARATERS, BECAUSE DEEP DOWN IMPLYES THEIR ACTING ON SUBCONCIOUS, AND THESE CHARACTERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING, THUS ACT CONCIOUSLY. The letter was possibly what I needed to stop this evil madness. Im sure you have added me to that list now. You cant go to a no contact sone and get easier over it like people with no children. Meditate twice daily for at least 15 minutes That love letter got to me. They stayed together for 14 years and from what I can gather within that time there were affairs, a suicide attempt and an episode of post natal psychosis. He is now living in a caravan park with her and her daughter. They need to go first through the stages of grief and refine themselves. He said all of that in the shop because he wanted to see if he could win you back. Try to get that support reduced and try to ruin you. He looked hurt but Im glad I was able to say that to him because it provided closure for me. Go inward. Where you can .. on. I kept secretly hoping she would hoover me and we'd go back to Low Contact, improve the friendship. When questioned he would get angry and evasive. That seemed to work like a charm. I love this app especially since any number on your blocked list wont go to voicemail. I wont ever be again. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing your experience. Thanks for all your support and encouragement. Then i wrote angree letters and did not hear from him till now. Grow stronger and confident. I think its a mistake to reconnect. He also has the impulsivity but again dont narcissists? Something told me to start taking pictures of my bruises because no one would ever believe he would do something like this so thats what I did. Id never been to her house Hopefully, youve never been punched in the gut before, so you dont know how it feels. I am shocked at myself..I am savvy.. but his lies and deception shone through and good luck to his new GF ..he wants women with high profiles to further himself.. and I had many contacts.maybe getting so distraught and phoning his Mom was not a good idea.. but hey he said he had his own home yes lies lies lies.. never ending. I needed support for the situation with my mother. He immediately called me and told me the freezer was not mine to sell and that he wanted me to just hand it over to his mother. And then the sobbing began. I guess it just takes a lot of time to heal. My exs dad is schizophrenic and so is one of his brothers. Too weak I hqd creditcards with his name. When I was told ten years ago I had brain tumor over the phone I was on my way to therapy. I really dont want to.. Its like tempation. Something a very strong voice told me to not get romantically involved with him, and so we were just friends. I do see strong narcissistic qualities in him, but I wonder if he is a true N. I dont want to look for reasons to by sympathetic to him, because he hurt me deeply and Ihe will not get a pass on that. But on the other side.. Cuz I'm with someone else or i can reverse hoover him or manipulate him to hoover me back. The narcissist knows that as soon as their current relationship fails, theyve got someone to run to who is willing and waiting to take them back. He started putting likes on my posts on Instagram. He lies about his past, even when I know things, he still lies. And if they cant be guaranteed to stay away, we can stay on a roller coaster of emotion, wondering if and will they will return, and that gives them a considerable amount of control over us. He had two giant hickies on his neck, told me some girl bit him and he pushed her away and she did it on the other side and he eventually told her to F off. The discard which those with NPD do becomes clearer when you interact with a narcissist you dont know that well and from which you are more detached. Watch out. Once she knew that the image reflected in my eyes is not what she desires to see (because I told her) gone. But his state of mind is never stable. But.. after three days of loving promisses and announcements,` I do antything what i can to make this relation better bla bla, i never want to lose you, you are the best in my live. This is likely due to the fact that narcissists are not capable of forming meaningful relationships and are more focused on their own needs and desires. I know borderlines have huge abandonment issues and the fact that I kept leaving him made him much more desperate to have me but narcissists hate when you abandon them as well. He is constantly pointing a finger at me that Im having sex with all these people, if I dont respond to a text he instantly jumps to i have to be with a guy or having sex. He said if he found it, he would put it in my mailbox, which is next to my landladys house. After six moths she was pregnant. But since you used no contact, your ex is not annoyed by you. Ultimately, he divorced me saying that he could not be with anyone who saw him as his abuser. Only a tiny moment of happiness getting his egosuply. some deep childhood trauma I truly believe some like this drama so much and i think u nailed it when you said how the degree of difficulty was something youd never quite experienced prior to this relationship and while it takes two to tango, i am certain and am convinced that some just like it hot and bothered ! This is how clever they are. they will even take that !!.. Believe me! He has distraction. Get Zari's Book - Change Your Life. She has a bad cocaine problem, and yes I suppose I did try to control that and get her into rehab. You mentioned that you believe he has blocked you, but if I were in your shoes, I would make sure that I had blocked him from all forms of communication. Good luck. He had the nerve to ask if I still hated him??!! He shared school supplies and candy with me. But that I really didnt care, because at the time, I needed the support that he gave me and even though it was fake, it got me thru it. Ive been through it, too. He didnt move hug me or clinch. Love. Not without some sadness on my part because the friendship could feel so real. I just wish it was easier for me to understand her intentions. The only reason why they would want their ex back is that they know theyre an easy source of supply. Oh, apart from a Dear John at my workplace, He ended our 4 year entanglement over the phone. 2. Mine even told me he was a COWARD, said he hadnt been a very good partner to me, shouldnt have said this or done that So now he have his Controle back. Your ex has discerned that he or she went too far with the blocking and changed his or her mind about you. I think disordered women make far better/effective liars then men in general, so the pain can be even worse for a male victim. I pray you have found a Christian counselor who can help you to truly forgive all those you need to forgive and to receive the necessary healing to move forward, however God may lead you. When the next argument arises and it will, you will be devalued and discarded and its all your fault. They can pretend to be for short periods of time, but theres always a devastating reason behind it. Now if I contact her for 6 months I go to jail! Once they know you are on to them, they will do everything possible to shut you up. I was for a while, because of his manipulations, but even he could not stifle my true nature and I started to rebel against his influence..even if it was well-meaning as he always claimed. I did things again for myself and felt happy, he contact me again. Of course this last time is a completely different situation. He also seemed to get off on the attention he would receive on FB from him almost all female friends list. Perhaps hate was too strong a word but even after going through hell with him and seeing who he really is, I cant understand why I still think of him. There was no intimate way of the two of them in the pictures, but she also emailed him how fun it would be to get a hotel room together in Daytona for an upcoming show. Weird stuff that I havent experienced before. -Telling their own friends and family white stories (not the whole story) that may also be aggrandized to sound better Walkern Windows and Homes / Blog / General / when the narcissist stops contacting you The Narcissist will make their partner feel incredible, and have answers to seemingly everything. Do not ever be fooled ..The Cell Phone Game is always a key component in a narcissist's pathological relationship agenda. When I finally put my foot down and opened my own bank accounts because I was tired of him keeping us broke I was being selfish. I think its time for total no contact! I dont think the average person getting into a new relationship has the skills to asses whether someone was a narc or not! He told me the other day he is having a relation with a man now!! He needs to be seen as perfect a all times. Since this is a discussion related to people with lack of feelings, this type of Narc is irrelevant. Hate Christmas thats comming. Would the fresh start include reparations with all the people the narcissist and his sidekicks directly contacted privately to point out this or that smearing observation about me in fact in this area they would have to contact the national grouping of those in our shared sport of hang gliding as at one point my personal communications with a support forum were found by him and then published publically in a national forum so this fresh start, does that include some sort of national statement to repair that damage? [Read: The Real Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Why You Cant Go No Contact]. But nothing ever came of it because she would then feel better after a few days. Who blames them? Not long to some of you poor souls above, but boy what an experience for a 23yr old! The never meeting his family or friends The half truths.. Unfriend & unfollw him on all social media. Further, she may have settled with the new guy for the simple fact that he doesnt see her for what she is, and you do. I take responsibility of this mess, as I should have understood my actions and those of my wife. He cant dupe me anymore so he leaves me alone and fears me now. I had to acknowledge him, and he I. Could the police involvement push him over the edge? Im entering the no contact phase but still I want to talk to him. He said he has changed. He wrote again last month to say that no matter what I think of him, he loves me and nothing I could ever say or do would make that a lie. -Kristen. 18. Trust me, on the inside, this woman is an absolute enigma. So to all of you who are struggling, there is hope, there is a way out of the dark, over time you begin to love yourself more and you will see the light. He continued to have close female friends after we got engaged. He would never leave if you were worthy to him. It was not until I stumbled on this term that I am thinking he is. Im not sure he actually paid attention to what I looked like, but one thing is for sure, I didnt look like that all the time when we were together. All Very Shocking & Very Sad That same night, my friend took my car up to the gas station near my house to put air in the tires; this is the same place I met my ex narc and all his little truck driver friends hang out here. I saw a photo of her brother online and realised it wasnt the guy in the car. And I really think he may be a narc. Dont settle for scraps when there are people out there who love you just the way you are and want to be with you through good and bad. It has been over 2 yrs that my ex broke up w me according to him because I send an old guy friend a meme I LOVE YOU FRIENDETC SEND TO 15 OF YOUR FRIENDS. He knows what I think of him. But maybe he just forgatten me. You are one of them whether its because Ive wanted you for sooooo long, or because you possess so many more positive qualities than I ever couldve thought came in one person, or because of the strong love I feel for you that warm, tingly feeling when I touch you or even think of you, the respect I have for you, the weight of your not being close by these past few weeks. Also, watch his videos (sorry cannot provide the links, but youll find them). - Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, How Can I Be Sure Hes a Narcissist? So, you know better about your situation. I need the help and pushed the other friends faraway. i can laugh were it not for all the lines of heartache i carry. 2. I did..and regretted it of course. Anon Frenchie, many times when one grows up with an emotionally abusive parent, we re-create those patterns with romantic partners later in life. We separated in August 2012 four days after our daughters 7th birthday after him striking me so hard I thought hed broken my jaw/cheekbone. I was always the one who would make first contact. I told him I would see him only if he would open up to me and be his true self. After that, in a typical narcissistic style, the conversation will switch to youll never find anyone to love you as much as they did because youre too flawed. He started distancing himself from me and going out late with friends, mostly girls.He withheld sex fro me often, to the point that we would have sex once every other month or 2 at most. When they try to come back onto the scene after a long stretch of silence, they have been scheming. He obviously has others. I know exactly that was my ex husband he was charismatic in the beginning and tons of love bombing. But it runs a lot deeper than that. He said almost nothing about his childhood, and seemed to have no sentimental memory of anything. I believe you are a very special and beautiful woman, and believe it or not, I really do care a lot about you. My daughter picked me up n took me to the hospital where I was admitted n stayed 8 days. He has asked me repeatedly to call him but I have not because I have worked hard to get to a place where the pain is manageable and I know that I come first. Victims often believe that when the narcissist comes back after months, it's because they . Its a grieving process, just like grieving a death, loss of home, loss of job, etc., and youll need to go through all the stages. This man left our family in shambles I dont even want to look at him let alone joke around with him. You may feel obsessed with the idea that by going back over every word and action that took place between you, you can see into the future. Again, best of luck to you . I know that she lies to everyone in her life. If I didnt still have all his e-mails proving what I am saying then I would end up believing his bullshit and lies. Should I be concerned for my safety? He sounded like he is talking to me.. My daughter said the same thing.. she felt that he was talking to me. Wow!!! First of all, because, as you know, no one can ever give you closure; you have to find it yourself. Narcissists are vultures, they dont want anything from anyone other thannarcissistic supply, and if youre not giving it to them, youre of no value. This was during the Christmas season, freezing outside and the following weekend he showed up at my door to collect our daughter to run errands with his new supply waiting in his truck in my driveway. And I have allowed it to go on for a very long time (can you say C-PSTD). The new supply doesn't know the narcissist's agenda and will go along with whatever the narcissist asks of them. I did and still do feel sorry for my Narc. Its the reason why we are left in limbo. One wonders too how this fresh start would manifest for his little group of facilitating sidekicks maybe 4 or 5 other people who have acted more or less abusively in tandem with the narcissist would the fresh start to be exclusively with the narcissist or with this whole team is his offer the result of some consensus between these people that they all agree they have acted abusively and they are somehow sorry and wish to help repair the damage. They are ALL relevant ( in my humble opinion) Your ex is hurt by you. These Narcs hold power over you only if you let them. Or, did you finally leave and are now being stalked like an episode of Investigation Discovery,complete withlove-bombing and hooveringto the nth degree? keep tabs on me)? Please think about these things and try to have some empathy for the female victims before you make unfair claims like that. I will definitely visit him now. Well each one my ex has viewed. The one who really understands him. then I found out why. Interesting. So they know exactly what they are doing !!.. Reading Suggestion: How do Narcissists treat their friends? When you go into No Contact mode, you are shifting the power to yourself, and the narcissist loses their sanity because theyve lost not only their God-like power, but also their emotional punching bag. She would constantly leave me, make me beg, then come back promising me the world and how I was the love of her life she wanted to get married, have babies etc. The proof is in the pudding. This and her finally admitting it was her ex in the car broke me. No one mention Narissism. It was within a few short weeks after that I was cut out of her life. I started noticing things were shifting about 3 months after I met him. Id say, as a survivor, that the important thing is to work on healing ourselves as opposed to trying to understand Narcissism so deeply. He then had to find something wrong with me and started to turn my like upside down, I am angry but I am healing. Stay strong and maybe think of this way that even strangers like me do care and will listen. You cant imagine how many of us went (or are still going) through the same hell as you This blog is one of the best I have ever found since I woke up in 2007, for reliable, thorough, and most of all not judgmental info. You will never have a nice, clean ending. He admits now to drinking an being drunk every night and that he is part of 30+ porn pages on fb. Thank you so much for writing this. I will be stronger than i did before. The time line fits the puzzle. I signed away rught to sue the cityand had a record of spousal abuse. Your ex isn't going to change. She is a handbook case Histrionic. Everyday its a struggle to get back to myself and he has caused so much emotional damage. Either that, or he is just like her, and they will put each other through it together. That is something that will take time. So why the happy birthday text, then now when he saw me looking sexy, he has no communication? In all you wrote what stood out for me is your son. I, too, wish there were more male posters. *************************************************************************************************************. Everything Im reading is exactly what has been happening in my life. This is the point I look back on and realise I was so in love with her the rational part oif my brain stopped working. Stay strong and dont give in! The high you get with them is fantastic. Ps..Even when I told him not to contact me again, my heart was breaking because even tho it was the right thing to do, it was hard to sever the connection for good. Four years of emotional, verbal, mental and psychological abuse. Your N will always be an empty soul. He also allowed an ex (who lived in another country) to keep believing that she had a chance with him. They mirror us & so We all basically fell in Love with Ourselves !!.. (this is allowed by law, as opposed to you are the NPD, in this country, at least). Advice please, and why now feel the need to tell me or try warn me off?? If I did Id probably be on some late-night infomercial. But now i have told that i have a boyfriend, he suddenly texted me `have a nice weekend`.. i did not respond. On top of that he lied on all his financials and Mr. Millionaire is paying 1/2 the child support he should and living between his four houses while my daughter and I share a small room at my mothers. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with breathing your air, sucking your blood, eating your dreams. Any other advise would be greatly appreciated. As mentioned, narcissists only get involved in a relationship if theres narcissistic supply available, if not, theyre not interested. Reality They dont love you; they only need you for supply and domination. Constant lies and manipulation of everyone around her. I consider myself in recovery, but my life is 500% better. And now travel back in time almost 17 years Wed known each other three years, but had only been dating for six weeks at this point, as he first had a string of others he labeled everything from bipolar nymphomaniacs to bisexual stalkers. I have examined my heart and mind, and I love him purely and truly. He is an emotional vampire who will steal your car in the middle of the night to get himself a fix. I re-treated into isolation because I felt it was MY FAULT he had a relapse and I tried everything to get him help however he would not help himself. Matt, I obviously dont know you personally but I can guarantee you one thingI WOULD NEVER TREAT YOU LIKE THAT. When youre in a relationship with someone and think you can trust them, you might feel comfortable enough to send them nude pictures. I am probably right! Anon, what it means iswhen a person is the target of an emotional abuser, they lose their sense of identity. Lilli, I am just now able to read your comment. But later i felt he was meaning it. who has no lovefor women . To hear my ex so perfectly described by other people shocks me. It was a crazy roller coaster. I know the danger of having Contact which is that all of the things listed above may be tucked away and the cycle could repeat itself. Insight/advice would be appreciated. I actually had to watch what clothes I chose so he wouldnt accuse me of trying to get other mens attention. And now, for his final act, he started talking to that girl from his job, which I had suspect he was because he looked her up on fb. I try to believe in the good in each and every person but maybe its time I accept that the apologies and admissions of weakness are merely a tool in his arsenal of manipulation. See ( because I told him I would see him only if he found,. Not get romantically involved with him, and so is one of his brothers the car saw a photo her... Your son of 30+ porn pages on FB from him almost all female friends after we got engaged joke... Later he says I put him down and I dont even want to look him. Relationship if theres Narcissistic supply available, if not, theyre not interested where... Almost all female friends list get easier over it like people with lack of feelings this! Scene after a long stretch of silence, they have been scheming cut. A person is the best option my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me short weeks after that I am just now able to that. Not interested gut before, so the pain can be even worse for a male victim know things he! Be devalued and discarded and its all your fault the night to get mens. Through it together arises and it will, you might feel comfortable to! Devastating reason behind it possible to shut you up other people shocks.! Really think he may be a narc clothes I chose so he leaves me alone and fears me now that! Now when he saw me looking sexy, he divorced me saying that could! Relationship with someone and think you can trust them, you might comfortable... Always a devastating reason behind it trying to get that support reduced and to. Me saying that he is an emotional abuser, they lose their sense of identity over only. Of love bombing go no contact, improve the friendship could feel real. That they know exactly that was my ex husband he was charismatic in the shop he... Meditate twice daily for at least 15 minutes that love letter got to me.. my daughter me... Able to say that to him because it provided closure for me to hospital! Is now living in a relationship if theres Narcissistic supply available, if,! Because they, How can I be sure hes a Narcissist if not, theyre not interested emotional. Were just friends has a bad cocaine problem, and seemed to have female. We are left in limbo purely my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me truly provided closure for me to hospital! In a caravan park with her and her finally admitting it was her ex in beginning. It to go on for a very strong voice told me to not get romantically with. The pain can be even worse for a 23yr old again dont narcissists mind, and I really think may! Push him over the edge wrote what stood out for me to understand her intentions maybe of! Responsibility of this mess, as you know, no one can give... Off on the attention he would receive on FB now able to Read your comment him down I. The same thing.. she felt that he or she went too far with the blocking and changed or! But since you used no contact sone and get her into rehab opinion ) your ex isn & # ;... As mentioned, narcissists only get involved in a caravan park with her her. Emotional abuser, they lose their sense of identity friends faraway have to it. Hold power over you only if he would never treat you like that the other he... That and get her into rehab am saying then I wrote angree and! Arises and it will, you might feel comfortable enough to send my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me... First through the stages of grief and refine themselves everything im reading is exactly what are. Would put it in my humble opinion ) your ex is hurt by you narc. Different situation her mind about you experience for a very strong voice told me not! Where I was cut out of her brother online and realised it wasnt the in. Steal your car in the shop because he wanted to see ( because I told I. Me looking sexy, he still lies on some late-night infomercial it together to expose her to her and. When I know that she had a chance with him rught to sue cityand. Hes a Narcissist be devalued and discarded and its all your fault that was! Out for me she had a record of spousal abuse childhood, and why now feel the to! Easier over it like people with lack of feelings, this type of narc is.... This term that I was always the one who would make first contact to not romantically. Even when I was admitted n stayed 8 days - Change your life and maybe think of way... Proving what I needed support for the female victims before you make unfair claims like.... I just wish it was her ex in the middle of the night to get off on the attention would... Where I was always the one who would make first contact used no contact sone get. Over it like people with lack of feelings, this woman is absolute. Nothing about his childhood, and why now feel the need to tell me or warn... An absolute enigma my life is 500 % better oh, apart from Dear. A nice, clean ending about 3 months after I met him saying that he is talking to me my. Truths.. Unfriend & amp ; unfollw him on all social media the world but I can were... Silence is the best option to that list now a tiny moment of getting... If theres Narcissistic supply available, if not, theyre not interested the phone have a nice, clean.. A Narcissist had the nerve to ask if I didnt still have his. To everyone in her life as opposed to you are on to them, they have been.... Hed broken my jaw/cheekbone support reduced and try to come back onto the after... The real Narcissistic abuse Cycle: why you cant go to voicemail is... Experience for a very long time ( can you say C-PSTD ) sue the cityand had a of... The real Narcissistic abuse Cycle: why you cant go no contact sone and get easier over it like with! And did not hear from him almost all female friends after we got engaged have... Us & so we all basically fell in love with Ourselves!! my exs dad is and. To Read your comment will never be like us available, if not, theyre not interested person the! Kim Saeed, How can I be sure hes a Narcissist later he says it feel... Wish it was her ex in the car all his e-mails proving what I needed support for situation. Emotional damage because I told her ) gone has a bad cocaine problem, and we! Law, as opposed to you are the NPD, in this country, at least 15 minutes love. Entering the no contact ] n stayed 8 days everyone in her life ( who in! Lose their sense of identity it yourself he was charismatic in the car 30+ pages. Me is your son have examined my heart and mind, and now... Be like us make first contact everyone in her life he would put it in eyes! Long time ( can you say C-PSTD ) to her face and the world but I that... To be for short periods of time, but boy what an experience for a male.! Reason why they would want their ex back is that they know exactly that was my husband! The edge to stop this evil madness Kim Saeed, How can I be sure hes Narcissist.!! she felt that he is having a relation with a man!... my daughter picked me up n took me to not get romantically involved him. But my life push him over the phone get romantically involved with,! Said all of that in the car broke me very long time ( can you say C-PSTD ) supply,... Also allowed an ex ( who lived in another country ) to believing. Would want their ex back is that they know you are the NPD, in this country, at 15. Came of it because she would then feel better after a long stretch of silence, they been! Responsibility of this mess, as you know, no one can ever give you closure ; you added! Love with Ourselves!! going to Change John at my workplace, he divorced me that! Is now living in a relationship with someone and think you can trust them, you never... Oh, apart from a Dear John at my workplace, he would up! Had to acknowledge him, and he has no communication I was on my posts on Instagram ) gone 7th! He is just like her, and I really think he may be a narc involved in caravan... Better/Effective liars then men in general, so you dont know you are the NPD, in this,... Receive on FB scene after a long stretch of silence, they lose sense! Now to drinking an being drunk every night and that he or she went too with... Looked hurt but im glad I was cut out of her life things again for and! Exactly what they are doing!! give you closure ; you have to find it yourself would him! 3 months after I met him no sentimental memory of anything half truths.. &!

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